Lifestyles of NYC

So, I recently moved; Obviously I sought out the most outrageous living situation that I could find. Here is the ad on craigslist that I responded to:

3 V. Cool finance kids looking for a 4th to share ridiculous apt.

Basically the place we are looking to move into a sick apt., duplex, with large rooms and a ridiculously large living room, multiple balconies. We're going to throw absurd parties- P. Diddy might come. Seriously, every time you get home and open the door you're going to feel the sheer coolness of our flat emanating from the walls.

We're pretty social, like to party, argue, sarcasm, watch movies, women, going out, and basically enjoy being young and alive. If you think you could add value, feel free to email... we're looking for Mentos-level coolness here.

Right before responding, I knew this was going to be a feast or famine situation. Here are some pics of an equivilant place(I would show you pics of the real place, but then I would have to kill you):



And here is an exchange I had with one of my roommates:

me: whats up you herb.. .how was the date with the "gorgeous blond"

Roommate: dude.
shes fuckign amazing.
hottest girl ive ever hooked up with.
amazing.
shes a fuckign international model
travels to france, hong kong, etc.
i mean, the whole time i was like... man... seh is too hot.
it was great.
she texted me 30 secs after kissing me goodbye: "i had a really good time tonight :) "

Me: you are a stud
where did you take her?
(by the way this is the girl that you made out with outside of the bar)

Roommate: restaurant alta
then rabbit club
then little branch
dude... im so proud of myself
and even she was like, "you were so confident outside the bar"
aw man...
shes kinda stupid though.
and a bit of an alkie

Me: whatever
its all in fun

Roommate: yeah.
i mean, i want to go out with her enough to get photographic evidence that ive actually hooked up with her.
:)
btw, im gonna watch batman at 2.30pm
if youre interested

Me: I am at work.

Roommate: sucks to be you
---end of conversation---

I think I have good decision making skills

I'm Bringing Balzacs Back

Balzacs are sweet. They were definetly one of the coolest toys at F.A.O. Schwartz back in the day; beautiful-neon-patterned-giant-balloon-balls, the size of small living room. This iconic 1980s toy company now has clothes for you to rock - now you can reminisce about when you had the biggest balls in the third grade.

click "new post"...(click)

rich and bored lifestyle? hmm. I hate when people say they are tired. Me, I just let my bloated face speak for itself. If I tell you I’m tired, and I actually am, and you are looking at me with your open, functioning eyes, I am being redundant. If you were an efficient enterprise, you would purge yourself of me. Listen, it’s a depressing thing – for anyone within range to hear, its like being shot in the ear. Sure, its ok if you are tired, but if you are about to say you are tired, stay the hell away from me because I am trying to be hardcore, I’m in a pissing contest with the wind, and I don’t need to bogged down with your physical and mental limitations. Do you warn people when you are about to get really drunk...like the shot/drink before? Because, I would much rather you tell me that. I will smile at you, probably envy you, maybe clap, and wish you the best of luck! But pointlessly pointing out that you are tired? Gah. Trust me buddy, the bags under your eyes which I can actually hear digging in, like shapely pockets for jangling keys and storing emails, say it all. Remember folks, mildew is man made, and rain is just water, and being tired is just your perception. Oh, I forgot to tell you why I don’t like the rich and bored thing. Crap. But you know what? When you have actual work to do that you are neglecting and when you’ve just killed a gnat by squishing it inside your nose because it was dumb enough to fly in there for the third time in one day, you suddenly yourself feel squished, red-handed in your very own nostril of nonsense. So more on what I was planning on saying, but never did...yeah more on that later (I will call you as soon as I finish). Oh, I just got a panicky sensation...yes, yes, just checked, I did in fact say I was tired in my "blog babble" yesterday. Wow. amazing. I'm really worried that a dog is just going to drop into my room, like the way feathers and mushrooms drop from your screen in mario, and start barking at me for my stupidity.

still dont get how this works, but i just click on "new post" to the right

Clearly blogging is a sign of narcissism, misguided delusions of grandeur, while instead one is actually performing the following function: boring. That’s easily confused by many. But it also may mean that you aren’t in a relationship so the time you’d spend hooking up or fighting before bedtime can be devoted to silent expression. And being alone is cool, so…oh, and I reason that if my thoughts keep coming like sheep to the slaughter, really what is the difference if you sit by and watch them get massacred by my sheer lack of commitment. Anyway, I don’t plan on just spewing myself all over the place. I mean you can’t just announce that something is a narcissistic (CSTFT) endeavor and then just marvel around waiting for a cookie to drop into your mouth from your own ass for achieving level 1.0 of self-awareness. So, I am going to use this venture to discuss post stories about people who had it all set up, prestigious schools etc, and who get passed up by their lower counterparts, the hustlers, perhaps on account of failing to develop their spirits or any interests that do not add to the bottom line (hypothesis). Yes, it’s a social critique, and I should probably just shoot myself instead (gd forbid). Of course, blogging is not included as a form of development that is to be praised (unless you make money? I'd settle for a point). I do not anyway consider myself to be in either category as I have had a rather private upbringing and have connections, but after going to a law school that is dropping at an amazing rate as well as feeling satisfied with my particularly ideology about life (never grow up), I certainly warm up to a particular direction. I am anxious and deeply in the upper quadron of the box, so therefore diligent to some extent, but I also hate the straight and narrow arrow and so I live in a state of cognitive dissonance most every minute of the day. I never feel at one with the raver or the social chair or the dumbass who raises his hand, and I am sure neither feels at one with me since I usually condescend to either extreme. Anyway I know where I am going with this idea – but I am not telling you because you will steal it, because it is awesome. But I kind of just did tell you where I am going with this, and lucky for me I just got really tired so I am not going to think about what I am saying at all. I presume whatever I just wrote is my “aim” and will require a modicum of research, and since insight into my life still stays on topic as I have just explained, I can litter this plenty with whatever suicidal sheep I want and I haven’t really committed to anything at all. You know what else would be a good idea? All of us talking about how we feel we look compared with how we felt we looked 5 years ago.

I dont get how this works

There are many reasons to have respect for the Yeast. Like the Virgin M, they reproduce asexually and don’t drunk dial. They are unicellular so they are super independent. They dominate fungal diversity in the oceans. I too dominate fungal diversity in the oceans. And you know what else? Unlike most of my aging friends, Yeast always rises to the occasion. So hello.

This Kid is Awesome. He lives in New Hampshire. He likes dogs and cereal.